I know Heaven and Hell do not exist, or if they do exist, the people currently residing in Heaven are huge, greedy, selfish, assholes. Let me explain.
Heaven is supposedly a place to reward those who follow the the Word of God, while Hell is a place for those who go against the Word of God. Heaven is a paradise; there all your dreams will come true, kind of like an eternal Make-A-Wish Foundation. While on the other hand, Hell is suffering in a fiery pit of eternal damnation. Well, I just gotta say, “Who are the assholes in Heaven that are 100% OK with living it up, having the time of their life, while their fellow man is roasting in an eternity of flames and torment?” I ask myself, “Could I really enjoy myself in Heaven while this never-ending Nickleback concert is going on for those poor and unfortunate individuals?” No. Hell no I could not. There’s absolutely no way I could have a good time, hanging out, living it up, all the while knowing that these actions of evil incarnate are currently happening to someone I knew in life, maybe a friend or a family member, even to a stranger. Even if it was just a stranger, there is no way I could have a pleasant time in Heaven while that man or woman suffered. I would spend every waking minute, doing my best to free those who are trapped in Hell, helping them escape from that eternal, demon-filled nightmare. I could not rest until every last man, woman and child was free. But you know what? Maybe it is thinking like this that would keep a person like myself out of Heaven in the first place? Maybe the Kingdom of Heaven does not want individuals who value others and their well being above their very own. And if this is the case, I’m thinking that there has to be a test to get into Heaven. If you pass it, you get in. Fail it, and you’re doomed to an eternity of 1,000 free monthly hours of Internet usage by AOL with web searches by Ask Jeeves.
- Would you steal a pen from Heaven if you had every intention of returning it the next day?
- Could you take a piece of Heaven bread without paying for it if it meant that your hungry child would now be able to eat?
- Could you enjoy yourself at a really cool, never-ending house party, with open bar, while someone that you know who lives just right down the street from you is getting pounded in the balls with metal rods for eternity?
With these three questions now in mind, would you be able to enter the pearly gates of Heaven or forever be outcasted to a fiery demon island of eternal anguish and utter despair?