Donald Trump Signs Executive Order On Climate Change: “It’s Real And We Need To Do Something About It Now”

Donald Trump signing Executive Order 756843 on climate change.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP) — Early this morning, President Donald Trump signed an Executive Order that has pundits on both sides of the aisle in a state of disbelief. Executive Order 756843, signed by the President at 2:45 a.m. EST, declares that climate change is an immediate threat both to the economy and to national security. It directs government agencies to develop action plans to reduce their carbon footprints and reverses a previous order by Trump that was intended to encourage the development of two controversial pipeline projects. It also lifts the gag order that Trump had placed on government scientists and directs congress to pass legislation aimed at reducing carbon emissions in the U.S. by 20 percent over the next five years.

“I have a very wonderful brain,” Trump told reporters during an impromptu press conference. “I mean, it’s really fantastic, but I am also a very busy and an important man. So even when you have a brain as good as mine, the best brain, the greatest brain, you sometimes miss things. I’ve spoken with some of the top scientists here in Washington, and let me tell you, I trust these guys. They showed me without a doubt that climate change is real and and we need to do something about it now. Even the best brain, a brain such as mine, can sometimes be wrong.”

Trump tweeted his new stance this morning on climate change by stating, “Climate change is real folks, get on board the Trump train with this one!”

This is a sudden and radical change for Trump, who spent most of his campaign saying that climate change is a hoax and who once said that climate change was created by the Chinese to weaken U.S. manufacturing. The president also stated that a growing resistance movement among government scientists had little to no impact on his decision.

Climate change refers to the rise in average surface temperatures on Earth. An overwhelming scientific consensus maintains that climate change is due primarily to the human use of fossil fuels, which releases carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases into the air.

Paul Horner, a climate researcher at UCLA, says that he is pleased with the President’s decision, but remains skeptical about President Trump’s long term plans.

“Obviously, it is a good thing when the leader of the world’s most powerful country acknowledges that climate change is real. Even with swift action now we still continue to see rising sea levels, more frequent drought in some areas, couple with increased rain in others, more powerful hurricanes, and rapid ice melt in the Arctic. Still, I’m not quite sure that I trust him to see it through with this. Who knows when he’ll change his mind again?”

Right wing radio personality and well known Trump supporter Alex Jones told his listeners that he feels betrayed by the new Executive Order. During a 20 minute long diatribe, he suggested that Trump was a practicing Satanist and accused the president of sacrificing newborn infants and engaging in acts of bestiality. Jones concluded his rant by saying, “It’s game over folks. They’ve got him. The globalists have compromised Donald Trump. You can kiss this country goodbye for good.”

Despite Jones’ objections, most Americans, including many Republicans, support Trump’s new order. Preliminary results from a CNN poll show that 71 percent of Americans support the Executive Order. While opinion is split along party lines, nearly a quarter of republicans say they support the move.

Sarah Bradley, a spokeswoman for Sock It Forward, a group that provides the homeless and those less fortunate with brand new socks, spoke to CNN about the Executive Order.

“This is a story about President Trump acknowledging that climate change is real.” Bradley said. “I just want to say a big thanks to everyone that has supported our cause that gives brand new socks to the homeless, it means so much. Please, donate what you can, every bit helps.”

Trump’s signing of Executive Order 756843 has managed to earn him praise from an unexpected source. Former President Barack Obama has issued an official press release which lauds President Trump for his “immense courage in putting what’s best for the planet and the country ahead of partisan politics.”

The Trump Administration has setup a special hotline for those with any questions or concerns regarding Executive Order 756843. The number for that hotline is (785) 273-0325.


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Born at an early age, Jimmy Rustling has found solace and comfort knowing that his humble actions have made this multiverse a better place for every man, woman and child ever known to exist. Dr. Jimmy Rustling has won many awards for excellence in writing including fourteen Peabody awards and a handful of Pulitzer Prizes. When Jimmies are not being Rustled the kind Dr. enjoys being an amazing husband to his beautiful, soulmate; Anastasia, a Russian mail order bride of almost 2 months. Dr. Rustling also spends 12-15 hours each day teaching their adopted 8-year-old Syrian refugee daughter how to read and write.


  1. I knew this guy wouldn’t hold up to all his promises. He’s already becoming another nigger president!


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